To date, I've sent twelve agent queries. Begging in high literary fashion. They know I'm begging. They know how many writers can fit through the eye of a needle. I can sense it in the voice of their response or even worse, in their lack of response. I sense it as I sit here with my head in my hands, staring at the query files in my macbook at three in the morning.
So far then, of the twelve, everyone in rounds one and two have rejected or never responded. That leaves four without a heartbeat. The ones that did respond from round two all sent the most pathetic form letters, as if they have no personality whatever. They break every rule for the "bad news letter" that I teach my college students in Tech Writing class, bad fonts, no salutations, no formating and such.
One thing is consistent. They all wish me good luck. What the hell is luck if not chance? Some say getting a book deal is like winning the lottery. It's not. It is not a fortuitous transaction. My manuscript is not drawn from a hat. It is decidedly by my own design and skill that I attract an agent that in turn decides to use his/her skill to convince an investor to put it on a press. The agent and publisher both decide that the book can turn a profit. So the good luck nonsense is just a patronizing way of saying run along, swim in the sea of writer angst and pathos.
I'm not waiting on a respond from round three. On to round four in a few days! They say not to draw conclusions before fifty "begs." I doubt I'll last that long before a real lottery ticket seduces me. But in the meantime I'll be celebrating my designed manuscript with a premier reading on the 28th. I hope to see you there.
Thanks for staying tuned,