22.2.10

fire, wine, and psychosis..


For the past few weeks I've been pecking away at some add-ons and revisions to frying spam. In some spots I realized, at the encouragement of agents, that perhaps I should go deeper in the family psychosis. Even more graphic. It's no fun. It's dark thinking, my friend. I didn't even want to admit that I came from such a place, let alone sit and brood on the crazy shit in front of a roaring fire till the small hours of the morning. Many a night I was convinced I'd lost it. I've nearly consumed my winter stash of firewood already. A bottle of wine only works for a bit, until the desired effect takes hold, after which I put my mac to sleep and step to the porch for a blast of cold mountain air on my head.

So, I'm not sharing much with you all lately. And that's okay by me. I've been living deeply with the book. I'm not certain anyone is paying attention anyway. Regardless, perhaps in another few weeks I'll be ready for yet another round of agent queries. Then I may have some stories to tell and rejection notices to announce. I'll leave you with a bit from a new chapter.

And that’s how I learned that we got things. How everyone got things. First you prayed, and then you prayed a lot. Every day until God lets you know in a dream when it’s coming. Then, like Mom and Dad, you pray some more until the day it comes. It might show up on the porch, in the mailbox, or maybe in the offering plate on Sunday. It was magic for me, just like the magic quarters that disappeared from Uncle Jim’s hand. Sometimes you even get things from God you don’t want. Lots of rain water in the basement or mice in the closets. Even when my sister sewed her finger to the sewing machine, sewed a great big needle straight through her finger, God was teaching her something. Bad stuff happened so we can learn good stuff, like how to pray harder.
For now,
Samuel

and please share..

1 comment:

  1. Do not fear. There are at least some paying attention.
    I think I might disagree with your agents a bit. I felt you did a superb job of insinuating the finer details of the psychosis without explicitly giving them. I admit that might be due in part to my ability to draw on similar experiences with my own family while I read, though.
    I guess it boils down to the question.. Are there enough potential readers out there who are scarred enough by their religious upbringings to be sufficiently entertained by the triggered memories of their own families and warrant leaving the depths of the psychosis to the imagination for now? I'm thinking YES, but I suppose that's why I'm not an agent.
    Sometimes I wonder if agents even consider leaving room for book #2.
    AMAZING picture by the way.

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